Before you fall for her.

Before you fall for that girl. The one that caught your eye.

Sit back. Ask yourself. Is this someone you see yourself building a life with? Is this a person you are willing to step up to the plate for? Is she someone you envision being your support system and your rock? Will she be a person that you can laugh with as your best friend but love as your partner simultaneously?

Is she someone you can see yourself dressed up with on a Friday night but making pancakes with on a Sunday morning without pants on? Will you love her imperfections and see beyond the superficial? What qualities does she bring to the table besides being a sexual human being? What is her work ethic, her personality traits, and most importantly, how is her character?

Does she make you smile, laugh, and rethink everything you thought you knew about women? Is she someone that turns heads in a room but only looks for you? Can you see her being with your friends, your family, or being a permanent element in your life?

I understand these are questions most would not even consider, but please do. Please sit down with what you have idealized about or fantasized about in life and put that into reality.

Before you fall for that girl…

Understand she is guarded. She has been hurt before, and she has had more bruises and scars than you’ll ever realize. She carries her wounds with grace, and she disguises it with a laughter so contagious you’ll forget what the punchline was about.

This girl…she loves hard, and she gives 100%. So if you want this girl…if you want to be in her orbit…understand that it will take work and effort. Understand that it will take time to break down her barriers and have her trusting you.

But once she does let those walls down – once she does trust you – you will feel an undeniable feeling that you have yet to experience. Her presence will be magnetic – captivating and have you catching your breath.

Just remember, you either have her or you don’t. You are either in or you are out. There is no half ass. There is no time for games, hesitation, or reservations. Take all of her, including the broken pieces. Be patient with her, and learn her love languages. I promise she is worth it.

Relationships were not designed to be easy, if they were, everyone would be in one. The variables that make up the commitment between two people varies but here’s what is important – with the right person, it won’t be a matter of what you don’t do or have yourself convinced that you are doing wrong. It’s what you are doing, and making an effort for. She will take the simplest gesture and make it feel like she won a million bucks. She will value and appreciate your time, your effort, and your gestures.

But whatever you decide to do, do not waste her time, do not string her along, and do not give her false hope. Do not make a promise you can’t keep, and do not give her the impression you are in it for the win when you weren’t ever sure to begin with. Don’t fall in love or become infatuated with the idea of her – accept her, and understand what comes with her entire being before she lets you into her heart. Because that girl comes with a love so intense that once she lets you in, she is invested, and she is focused on you. So don’t let that girl leap if you aren’t prepared to catch her.

And if you’re not ready, if you’re not prepared to handle what she brings to the table, what she may bring to your life – then do not knock on her door, do not disturb her peace or her light. Leave her alone, and keep walking. Once you are in, and you decide you can’t – it is going to hurt her, it is going bring her to her knees with a pain that cannot even be described with words. It will be a pain and hurt that could even disturb the Gods.

But remember, she is stronger than the pain that strikes her heart and soul. Like the goddess she is, she will learn to not miss you, to not think about you, and to not hurt anymore. She will learn to love herself again. You, however, will miss her, you’ll miss the chance you had – the opportunity that you didn’t let grow. The love you never cultivated. You will sit with the what ifs – you will question the decision you made and the choice you were hell bent on. Your decision will be the very reason why your pain hits different than hers ever could.

So, before you fall for that girl – dig deep into your soul and ask yourself if you are ready for that level of commitment. If you hesitate, if you have doubts, if you are just uncertain – you are not ready. And, if you are not ready, if you are not prepared, then turn around and walk away. Do not break her heart. Do not build her up only to tear her down. Be honest with your intentions and be true to her. Don’t hurt that girl.