I struggled with the right words for this post – and then I thought well, fuck it, I’ll write it however I am able to, and either you’ll read or you won’t. I have had a lot of reflecting the last couple of days and realized that I am incredibly proud of myself – my growth and my strength. Life is funny isn’t it? I remember a year ago, I was on my kitchen floor breaking down into the ugliest of cries feeling the worst pain from heartbreak: slow but fast. I remember feeling completely lost – as if nothing that had happened was real. I felt every fiber of my body ache and cripple because a man I thought was my person had just left as if everything was nothing. He left and never looked back. And then a few weeks back we ran into each other.
A moment that I had once hoped for – a moment that I thought would change everything for us. I can only laugh because that only works in movies, right? And the very moment I tried to say hello…he walked – he just kept walking and pretended as if I wasn’t there. I even turned around making sure it was him. Oh it was. 110% – there was zero doubt and then he looked right at me and looked away. In that moment I had every bit of confirmation for my growth. It didn’t bother me. I wasn’t mad or upset. Confused, but not even upset. It was the realization that the guy I once thought was everything and I was nothing without – turned out to be every bit of the person he warned me about at the very beginning over two years ago.
So here I am, a year later to the day, and feeling more empowered than I ever have in my life. I’m living my best life and falling more and more in love with myself with every day that passes. I’ve dedicated my time and my efforts to enjoy myself – my life and learning many lessons on the way. I’ve learned growth and the art of saying no and just moving in whatever direction life wants to take me.
Healing isn’t overnight. Healing looks different for everyone. You can never erase pain and your heart will never forget it. But things get easier, and you become stronger and better because of it. Let the wounds hurt. Let the tears flow. Feel the pain but heal and grow. Continue to be the best version of yourself for yourself. Be unapologetically yourself and love yourself for who you are versus being mean to yourself for what you aren’t.
Let the things that once brought you pain be part of your story and let it teach you a valuable lesson regardless of how small or big.
Bend the rules. Live and be present in the moment and don’t ever forget about the journey that got you where you are now and that life is and always will be one constant journey full of learning experiences ♥️
Be a phoenix emerging from the fire.
Just another sip. 